DATING IN CHINA – MY GUANGZHOU YEAR

Posted on by
6

222
Canton Tower
I was there, man

 

•

 

Previously: DATING IN CHINA – MEGAPOST 1
Covering the years 2008 – 2011

And now, 2011 to early 2012:

•

 

My Guangzhou Year 1
An intro to the new status quo, as I pack up move to the ancient land of Canton/the modern megacity of Guangzhou

Dating GZ Edition – Kendra
First story, I meet a crazed American abroad and adventured therein
Public nudity and disrespect, among other themes

Dating – China to Thailand to Cambodia
I travel, I bring a certain Cynthia, I make mistakes
But hey, that’s life and at least I got to see a new place

Dating – visitors and friends, others
Some characters from previous entries reappear, old friends reunite, a funny story happened one day
This time it’s not just about me

Rejected in Guangzhou
The stories everyone seems to want to know. Rejected!
Featuring Josephine, Seline, and more

The End – my humble successes
On a final positive note, sometimes life works out rather fine
It was a good year, I experienced a lot
I really shouldn’t complain

Stayin’ upbeat

Continue reading →

Review: Marlene and Sofia – A Double Love Story

Posted on by
4

marlene-foramazon

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LGXESSA

(Free eBook edition available, today only!)

“Marlene and Sofia – A Double Love Story,” the latest from Portuguese author Pedro Barrento (author of the whimsical-yet-deep Prince and the Singularity) is an ambitious novel.

Complex and thought-provoking, it can be hard to follow the various plots and diaries and takes a while to understand how this would considered be a love story. Characters introduced in separate storylines are slowly developed and then interact with each other, as the reader discovers their connections – be it by relatives or online interaction. The title characters Marlene and Sofia themselves take a while to appear. Then there is Joaquim, Manual who is father to Sofia, and the fling with Tiago. Some chapters are flashbacks to an earlier time as well. Pasts, from the sordid to the innocent, are revealed.

Right from the beginning, there is a clever metatextual section about how best-selling authors the world over secretly being assigned settings and characters by a mysterious imposing body. It is satirical and amusing, and oddly enough it rather fits with regards to Hollywood-style rules in the Writer’s Guild.

But this is no Hollywood formulaic story. It has more depth than that. There are treatises and quips on freedom, sexuality, family, and youth. Observations on the advantages of a simpler authoritarian past versus a bureaucratic modern democracy. Conversations about Marxism. Cynical takes on how men and women treat each other. Tragic short stories that are harsh critiques on sexist conservative 1940s culture, contrasted with the burgeoning sexuality of other character’s histories. Hints of supernatural forces at play. Digital futurism, and more.

In one early scene, an old man walks a dog and the narration describes the differing sensory perception of each species, and then states “they walked along together, but in two distinct universes.” It’s a nice line, and upon reflection it’s also just might explain more to what this story really means…

Halfway through the story becomes extremely intriguing, and gets into more science-fiction cyberpunk elements. Profound questions on the nature of experience and reality arise. Re: worldfromyoursofa.com (Not a real site, yet.)

And, inevitably, as we all know, the uses of the latest digital technology tend to immediately be co-opted by humanity’s baser sexual instincts. As even the most proper old lady users end up paying an online service to see the world through another’s eyes, it quickly escalates to something explicit. And what of those providing the online services, how do they process what they have done?

There are many surprises as the story goes on, and you’ll have to read for yourself to understand the rest. It’s always charming, always makes you think, this double love story. “Marlene and Sofia” is a unique novel unlike anything else out there.

Chinglish

Posted on by
6

1796536_10152095803463411_1142419575_nRare HK sighting, at bookstore, apparently it’s in the FUCK THE WORLD section

 

993358_10151652025513411_612509299_nExtraordinary splendor!

 

1922362_10152126166998411_1470683324_nDelicious healthy Orange sauce

 

 

Continue reading →

i wanna be extinct – old poem 2006

Posted on by
6

SAM_0051

i wanna be extinct

So me and William-Billy LEE are hangin out in the Triassic and he’s holding my hand and the sights are cool but I’m a bit uncomfortable–“What, Allerton and little Mexican boys aren’t enough for you these days and nights and times?”–Time-travel is inconvenient–you get what you pay for—the X-Acto knife will cut into the inner thigh with minimal pain, and perhaps a aesthetic scratch or two for the sake of design-optional-the irony is rather hilarious in that when you rip off the bandaid the next day you find that’s the part that really hurts!–All that gushing, from hunting dinosaurs y’know, they’re an endangered species–3-horned beauty on the wall, raped it myself.

The Dead Insect Society has rules and regulations for these things–Please fill out the proper formage young man–I hate waiting in line–I hate doing forms on the internet–I love spellcheck

I bought a girl a sandwich and she doesn’t really care–Axis Mundi of Jew York City where all roads intertwine–Odin’s tree–but no pork or sausage or shrimp–It is an abomination you Godless queens–They will never love you–I hope this cell phone gives you cancer–Cancer of the crotch–AIDS of the astral sort–Swadhistana infected with microscopic toxins–burn the leeches with Platonic archetypal cigarettes–mmmm that’s a good smoke.

All of my dreams are of television–while all of your dreams are boring–the old Japanese phrase–Don’t worry honey, it’ll all be all right from now on–I promise–I’m lying–Hide out!–Go away–“In the correct zazen posture the right leg and left leg must intersect the left thigh and the right thigh–no bandaids please–for all is one and one is not and duality is the lie”–you liar–if you see the Buddha on the road than call this (800) number and put out a gang hit on him and roll up real slow at his pad at 2:00 AM and make sure you pop that muthafucka between the eyes cuz round here we don/t appreciate that kinda Middle Path shit–its kill or be killed in this Shangra-La hood–and the mystery is that there is no mystery.

In front of the keyboard all tired we find that parties are the hardest scenes to write-but then again parties are the only places where folks intersect–Axis Mundi–you Jews–and the drunken sex shame that follows may be no fun at the time but its all good masturbation fodder for later–he can’t get it up and all the girls are staring and laughing–the standup artist is the highest form of artistry while the artist who sit down are the lowest form of wretch in a poetry starved nation of genius television critics.

Kill the Buddha–Kill the insects–kill the rapist–hunt them–bury them–Sauropods make good meat–but its not Kosher–and I’m a vegetarian–and its a sin–the first commandment says to kill the Buddha the second commandment says to not kill the Buddha.

My morality code is based off an invisible sky-God who doesn’t approve of homosexuality or heterosexuality for that matter either–what about asexuality–The Dead Insect Society teaches that you only learn from mistakes, you don/t learn from doing the right thing–Why are we on this planet again–and by this method of spiritual journey as lists of mistakes well then I am very wise indeed.

DATING IN CHINA – MEGAPOST 1

Posted on by
7

And now for your reading enjoyment. In case you missed it before. Allow me to lay it all out.

Megapost of my personal dating memoirs, covering the time span of August, 2008 to February, 2011

Links, from the beginning:

•

Prologue: How I came to China

Part 1: Burning Man
I go to a big trippy festival

Part 2: Doing LSD at Burning Man
I expand my mind and receive an invite abroad

•

Introductions

Intro to Dating in China
First things first, let me explain how this thing will work

I arrive in China
The story officially begins, I get here

•

Girls

Mona
My first China-based girlfriend, and how that didn’t work out

Julia
The next level… Sigh, was it love?

Mary
A summer romance, a brief flight, all too innocent

Annie – Sky – Lulu – more
Singlehood, bachelor life, the learning process, playing the field…

•

Zoey

The Beginning
Long-term relationship begins, a defining point in my life

An American intermission
You can’t go ‘home’, and I try and I fail and I drift

The End
Finally, and sadly, nothing lasts forever

•

 

Continue reading →

Book Review: The Tibetan Affair

Posted on by
Reply

tibetan affair book cover

http://www.amazon.com/The-Tibetan-Affair-Three-stories-ebook/dp/B00JTI91WM

The Tibetan Affair by Wang Xiao Hui is a novella which also includes two short stories. An interesting look into the world of Chinese journalists and the conflicts in Tibet, the main novella offers a readers an opportunity a window to observe this little-known scene.

The introduction comes slowly at first, opening with the personal lives and drama of the Beijing TV crew before they head to Tibet. There are interesting anecdotes along the way, such as the issue of altitude sicknesses and various vices.

Mainly the story centers around Mickey, who is bored of his wife and loves a younger coworker. Trouble comes when they do get to Tibet, from rocks thrown at trains to sexual tension in the hotel room.

Largely a critique of both the reactionary Chinese government and the hypocritical, submissive media, the journalists interview the police who expound on their obviously ridiculous views about foreigners the CIA and the Dalai Lama… Then conversations start to get more cynical, with takes on selling out your own country. The truth comes out and there is a bit of real journalism, but in a certain self-serving way.

But that’s just a backdrop to the romantic plot, which is the meat of the story. The sex scenes are quite steamy. Dreams are a constant theme as well; sexual dreams, dreams of jealousy, and strange nightmares. The plot patiently develops until the romantic plot overlaps with the journalism plot, and then they literally *climax* into a tragic ending.

It’s all too brief, and sometimes the story could have used more action and more character development. There are interesting vignettes and intriguing descriptions, but just not enough going on. The Tibetan Affair is very much worth a read, but it would have been a stronger story with simply more going on.

Continue reading →

Weekendish Chinglish

Posted on by
2

WP_20140425_001
Love the asking grass, anthropomorphized

10157315_10152184383813411_7495435946657485838_n
Don’t ever retrograde

1012094_10152126166923411_1505011452_n
Not wrong. But hey, money isn’t everything

WP_20140531_013
Perfectly translated gag gift ash tray, of which I feel very much worth sharing

Continue reading →

Dating in Guangzhou – The end… my humble ‘successes’

Posted on by
7

206513_10150171831983411_5576_nSee end

Dating in China, blah blah. I’m coming to an endpoint here. At least the end of my Guangzhou Year point.

Yes, I was getting sick of GZ. But not sick of China yet, not even close. I decided to go back to the familiarity of another city, my default locale. Shenzhen is just where I would’ve ended up eventually anyway, might as well surrender to my destiny. I sincerely like it better, somehow it works for me. I can’t believe I’m still here.

Guangzhou, in all its overwhelming epicness, was a place to study and a place to learn yet not a place for permanence.

In this final installment of the Provincial Capital’s memories, let me be a bit more positive. I may have complained too much in previous entries; I should be more grateful for the wonderful experiences I’ve had. It wasn’t all lonely nights in Canton…

 

There was Nellie, whom I met on POF. She had an exotic face, a cutesy style, and she invited me to her glamorous home to drink French wine. I spent a weekend there, she was so gracious. Regaled with tales of work and travel.

She visited me in Shenzhen once too.

Then there was Janey, whom I met on gzstuff.com. It was all so natural and easy, she added me or I added her (who remembers at this point?) and I simply suggested we go on a date and then we did and it ended nicely.

She was very attractive, thoroughly modern, and studied yoga. She didn’t mind coming out all the way to my place. But oddly shy. Like open in some ways, so reserved in others. We went to the cinema several, and window-shopped at Tianhe malls.

One day we had a fight when I went to her area in Taojin. I got bad directions and got lost and was late. No dinner even, only harsh words. It simply wasn’t meant to be long-term.

Most of all, there was Valerie, my then friend-with-benefit of choice. An office worker in glasses with a casual style. She was from Yunnan. She lived in deep Panyu, far away from downtown, and she was happy to visit me. We first met at a market in Shiqiao, the busiest area of the district and a world away from the city center.

I took her to dinner, went to parks, we enjoyed many weekends together lounging about my area. She liked me, she really liked me. Always cool, always happy, always there for me. Such an awesome person.

And no drama. I thank her for this. Today, as I think back and compare, I could not be more grateful for her positivity and good times.

I hope she thinks well of me now. I don’t even know why we didn’t become boyfriend and girlfriend. Didn’t seem in the cards, didn’t seem we had that kind of thing going. She wasn’t really who I pictured myself with, to be honest. We never had any serious conversations. She never pressured me to take things further. She was perpetually chill. Who knows, perhaps something was going on in her personal life at the time.

Still, I wonder…

Continue reading →

Chinglish, regularly scheduled

Posted on by
5

167630_10150096352568411_3338243_n

No particular bad translations, just looks like this rabbit suffered a major head injury

206805_10150154171668411_3221233_n
The best of these tend to be in washrooms

221798_10150173763538411_5682601_n
Is automatic rinse apparatus!

Continue reading →

Dating – Rejected in Guangzhou

Posted on by
35

at local gz pub, stay positive olives
At local GZ pub, with olives. Gotta stay positive

Dating in China, blah blah. More often than not it was Rejected in China. Especially during my Guangzhou Year.

Everyone seemed to be doing fine hooking up, yet I always found myself to be wrought with challenges in this game.

People all assume that it’s so easy to be an expat in China. There are advantages to be sure, I admit my privilege. However, honestly I get rejected by local girls all the time.

What can I say? I really put myself out there. That means taking risks. That sometimes means embarrassing yourself, falling on the hard dirt face-first, and somehow finding the strength to do it all over again next weekend. Did I learn anything?

There was the girl who made out with me while my friend was visiting and texted me all the time, yet she would never make the time to meet one-on-one for a date. There was the second date with the Sandy when she slept over at my place and we massaged each other in the morning and then she told me she’s seeing someone else. There was the girl I approached outside in the street who turned out to run a bar in Panyu, and we as per usual made out in a club and then I went to her bar and I could never get her alone again. There was my cute Italian friend, one ambiguous friendship with that flirting tension in the air and nothing ever came of it. The American (from guess where, Florida) who was really into graphic cybersex with me and then by the time we met in person she was constantly talking about her new boyfriend. The Japanese language teacher friend who rejected my advances multiple times. The girl I met while backpacking in Tokyo, who liked me when we were chatting and showed me around in person but wouldn’t let me stay at her place during my travels. I even met a girl who owned a manga shop in Yuefu and I thought she just might be my soulmate, but she evidently thought there were no sparks at all; this was when I began formulating my theory that too much in common is not good for attraction.

Off the top of my head, two girls especially come to mind, of whose rejections were particularly hurtful–

 

Josephine

Josephine. I really liked her. Slim and glamorous. She knew her fashion. A French major, a Europhile. She was meant for greater things than me…

I met her at the big nightclub in Zhujiang New Town. She wore a sexy black dress. I used a great opening line about looking like a drug dealer and pretending people were asking me if I was holding, wondering what she thought of my looks. She laughed, we exchanged numbers.

We had pizza for dinner one day and I bought her a stuffed animal, and she started talking about her boyfriend.

“Isn’t this a date?” I forwardly asked, though trying not to come across as resentful.

“Um…”

I never did get a goodbye kiss from her.

I tried to stay friends with her.

Somehow, her number got lost as I upgraded phones throughout the seasons and I no longer have her contact info. It would be nice to know what she’s up to. Just to be friends on Wechat, see her posts occasionally, not bug her all the time or anything.

Josephine, are you out there?

 

Seline

Probably the most drama I had in my entire Guangzhou era was with Seline.

Now, I met her indirectly through Couchsurfing. But let me assure you that I never ever use the crucial travel-and-networking website as a hookup thing. That is strictly against my code. This was the only time I kinda-sorta broke that code.

Continue reading →

Shenzhen Sculpture Biennale

Posted on by
6

I recently went to a ‘post-participation’ sculpture exhibition in Shenzhen’s OCT (Overseas Chinese Town) neighborhood, at the great halls of B10 and OCAT, to check ot the SZ Sculpture Biennale.

More information can be found at: http://www.biennialfoundation.org/biennials/shenzhen-sculpture-biennale-china/

 

Pictures:

0629_5 (3)

0629_1 (2)

0629_3 (6)

0629_4 (6)

0629_4

0629_2 (6) Continue reading →

Proper Chinglish

Posted on by
2

And now we’re back to your regularly scheduled Chinglishes.

Let’s start with something silent, after all a picture is worth a thousand words, and take it from there:

483925_10151030133828411_709950037_n

. . .

995896_10151603742618411_1326953395_n

Creating the health

302517_10151159695623411_1108634637_n

Just for fun, some bootleg Transformers

62911_441918988410_4825098_n Continue reading →

Dating – visitors and friends, others

Posted on by
6

Dating in China, this blog series, is basically a personal memoir. My writing inspiration of late consists of sifting through my memories, see if there was anything I was supposed to learn, and share it all for your infotainment.

Today I would like to do something different. On today’s post I would like to write about other people’s drama. A certain episode comes to mind. No action for me at this juncture, yet I was in the middle of it and have all the gossipy details.

My good friend from the States had decided to visit me, back I was living in Guangzhou in the second half of 2011. Having recently traveled myself, I welcomed him with open arms. But it’s not like we were going to go to the Great Wall or anything, I was too traveled out. We just keep it down South, Guangdong Province. He was cool with that.

I picked him up at the Hong Kong airport, and we went to see some sights in HK together. It was glorious. Then we crossed the border to my town of Shenzhen. It was a hectic night; full of old friends and drinking. I had planned to just come upon a hotel room like I usually do backpacking in China, but everything was filled up for some reason. Partying with luggage isn’t ideal. We ended up crashing at a DJ friend’s place after his gig. It always works out.

So. Before my buddy came down, I had to get him excited to visit with the obligatory “you can totally get laid in China” bro sell. In keeping with this, I had introduced him to some girls online. He particularly got along with Hailey.

If you will remember, there was another episode with Hailey. She was my open-minded platonic female friend in Shenzhen who climbed into my bed one night and thoroughly confused me, and we never ever did do anything of that sort.

My friend and her seemed to get along well. It usually doesn’t succeed when I play the matchmaker, but when it does I find it so fun to scheme. Have you ever tried?

For the next week-and-a-half I had to spend almost all my free time tour guiding all over the place. Clubs in Shenzhen, clubs in Guangzhou. It was mostly clubs. However, for one day he went to Shenzhen by himself to spend a night at a hotel on his own. With her. Sexy fun times were had, I assume. Good for them.

It was a crazy time, a very fun trip for him. I do believe he was left with a positive impression of modern China indeed. At last, the the final day was approaching… We needed to plan around a morning flight out of Hong Kong, which meant spending previous night in Shenzhen. Guangzhou wouldn’t have worked, too far.

“Look,” I sad. “I want to see you off, man. But if it’s all the same…”

“Fine,” he agreed.

I called Hailey, since they were obviously going to spend the night together anyway, and simply asked if she could take him to the nearby Huang’gang border and direct him to one of those direct shuttles to the airport.

“No way!” she yelled. “I’m not his babysitter.”

Continue reading →

SZ Daily: A holiday at Lianhua Hill

Posted on by
5

WP_001016

Kite-flying park

10255927_10152187555803411_2412893945706148734_n

Posing in front of the Civic Center building, best pic I got

http://szdaily.sznews.com/html/2014-06/20/content_2915071.htm

IF I was asked to choose my favorite place to relax in Shenzhen, I would say the Lianhua Hill area. When the weather is clear and I have the day off, no place is better. Containing some of the most beautiful scenery in central Shenzhen, in the heart of Futian District, the area boasts the best of both worlds: a calming natural setting and convenient shopping nearby.

Last May Day I enjoyed the holiday by first checking out the book mall and then taking a stroll along the hill path. My day began by taking the Metro to Children’s Palace Station and walking to Shenzhen Book City CBD Store. I enjoy their Eon import bookstore very much because they have an ample selection of English-language books. The nearby library also has a broad range of tomes from both the United States and the United Kingdom, and even though I live in China to learn Mandarin, I am still grateful that there is international literature in my native language on hand.

The book mall has lots of other shops to choose from, including various high-end restaurants, but I wasn’t there to partake in consumer culture. After some snacks, I climbed to the top floor. The roof leads to Lianhua Hill Park, where some friends of mine were waiting.

At the entrance to the park there is a square where kite enthusiasts gather. I hadn’t planned to fly a kite that day, but when the opportunity presented itself I spontaneously bought an inexpensive one from a vendor. The vendor even helped with a refresher course on how to fly a kite, a skill I haven’t practiced much since childhood. It was fun to see my kite go higher and higher into the air, and it provided good photo opportunities for my friends.

Eventually, we made it all the way to the top. The hike might not be too demanding as far as mountain climbing goes, but compared to other mountains in Shenzhen, such as Wutong Mountain, which require hours and hours of work, Lianhua Hill makes it easier for a briefer and simpler afternoon outing.

Once at the top, the whole city of Shenzhen is visible and is perfect for taking pictures. Besides the famous statue of Deng Xiaoping, the view of the iconic Civic Center building is one of my favorite sights.

We took the leisurely path back downhill as a cool breeze came with the setting of the sun. Back near the book mall, the large square contains many aspiring musicians and artists during the evening. At a mere (optional) price of a few yuan in tips, we could listen to rock musicians as well as watch caricaturists and painters practices their craft.

It was a wonderful day and I didn’t even have to travel very far. The diversity of activities in Futian District is the reason I have stayed here the past four years and counting. I can’t wait until my next opportunity to further explore Lianhua Hill Park.

Yet more… American ‘Chinglish!’

Posted on by
4

Who would have thought it, but yet more badly spelled and funny Englishes I came across while in America.

I should have known finalizing my last post was premature. I can have a bad habit of getting ahead of myself…

If you’re new here, please take note of: this is Chinglish

 

WP_20140616_001Nice and ghetto, gotta love Long Beach 

 

WP_20140615_022Father’s Day at Little Tokyo 

  Continue reading →