Intro to Dating in China

I think I’m old enough at this point to begin considering my memoirs.

How about a series focusing on that ever-fascinating subject: girls?

Please allow me to introduce this new blog category: Dating in China

After years and years of commitment issues, the stories have stacked up. The innocent, the naïve, the loved, the forgettable, and the mistakes. I could tell a few stories. Of the young, the old; the crazies, the addicts; the rich, the poor. Memories I will keep forever. Some were so breathtaking, others settling. Nice. Mean. Smart. Never stupid. And the one psycho who eternally holds a place in my heart.

Well. I’ve never really been one to high-five with the bros over my conquests. I’ve sincerely kept most of this to myself for greater part of my life. Now simply seems like the right time to put it all out there.

Still, I must admit this will get rather self-indulgent. Deal with it. I have made the decision to embrace my inner narcissist, and why not?

I do worry this may be pandering. I have always had goals of literary merit, but this is sure to be pure emo gossipyness. On the other hand, I try to take the writing process seriously and perhaps it’s good for the soul to share. I shall do my best to go over this subject matter in an intriguing and mature fashion. And people out there may even enjoy the read.

The names have been changed to protect the guilty as they say. Obviously.
 Still, I’m conflicted in that I don’t want to intrude on anyone’s privacy. You see, if you are a personal friend of mine then you will probably be able to guess who some of these people are. The story begins back in 2008 when I arrived in a certain city. I have quite a lot of material, who knows how many months this’ll take, but when it does catch up to recent history I just might be intruding on a few particular persons’ extremely private lives… Oh well.

What this series is not: Not a travel guide to pickup hotspots. Not a PUA-type forum. I am most definitely not qualified to give advice here. Those matters of a sexual nature will be written about with as much detail as I feel comfortable with, but not often too explicit. Fun scenes to write they may be, I don’t plan on mainly being an erotica writer. Overall the autobiographical element will expand on my general background, but not focus too much on work and creative pursuits. Just girls, dating, so on.  All the gossip I’m willing to divulge.

Most of all, please don’t think this will be me bragging about being a player because I am surely not that.

Oh, and not an Asian fetish thing either. The women in my life have not necessarily all been from China; quite a few hail from other lands as well. Just sayin.

As for the setting, the main city is Shenzhen. A place I know well. There’s also my Guangzhou year, some background in Cincinnati and greater Los Angeles with intermittent time spent on the West Coast during holidays, some travel in Southeast Asia, and a bit of Hong Kong.

A brief word on China and the Chinese.  I don’t want to get into stereotyping. This is a huge country – the hugest – full of diverse people in the midst of a rapidly changing economic landscape with multiple recent revolutions interrupting whatever cultural imprints once ruled. Every individual is unique and shatters all stereotypes. Even so, somehow it’s fun to discern patterns on genders and nationalities and cultures. Generalizing is what we humans do. Yes, there are some universals when it comes to all women. There is such a thing as that traditional girl who conforms to various preconceived notions, I suppose. Then again the upper-class demographic who speak English and are willing to date laowai are a particular breed as well. But in my experience I’ve found that the more you grandly opine, the more you make all-encompassing declarations on natural archetypes and predict and prejudge, the more you will be surprised in your next encounter…

Stay tuned for more on those encounters.

10 thoughts on “Intro to Dating in China

  1. Pingback: Dating in China 1 | Ray H to the C

  2. Pingback: Intro to Dating in China | Shenzhen Writers Circle

  3. Pingback: Dating in China 1 | Shenzhen Writers Circle

    • Good question, who is disturbed?

      If you do think I’m crossing a line, feel free to tell me specifically so. But hopefully don’t be anonymous. Email me personally (if you’re someone I know…)

      I guess it’s about time I ‘make it big’ or at least bigger and piss someone off~?


  4. Pingback: DATING IN CHINA – MEGAPOST 1 | Ray H to the C

  5. Pingback: Dating in China | Ray H to the C

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