
Firstly, a personal note
It has to be said that is a personal story. While also rooted in the context of tragic current events, ultimately this is simply my own perspective based on my life. That’s all I can ever claim expertise over, in the end. So this essay is not meant to be an argument over what anyone else should do.
Therefore, let me begin at the beginning. I was born in Israel in the 1980s, so I’m told, and I left as a baby. I have no memory of this (which is much of the point, see below). My parents were both immigrants and not native to the region, and they had the idea to immediately go back to my father’s country of America soon after my sister and I came along.
This left me with dual citizenship. Technically. But practically, I’ve only ever been American. I grew up in America, I am an American. That’s how it works. All my formative memories are of Indiana and Ohio, and later of California. Although there’s much I would have preferred to have happened differently in my childhood, geographical speaking I’m generally grateful about where I grew up.
I did take remedial Hebrew school as a child, had a bar mitzvah, along with all those kinds of typical Jewish experiences. While now I don’t feel much of a connection to those rituals as an adult, I am okay with having had these cultural touchstones even if it didn’t have much of a lasting impact. It was fine. I recall the JCC after school, that “aleph bet vet” song, Passover dinners with extended family, and sometimes going to synagogue which was extremely boring. Everybody comes from somewhere, and there certainly is value in being part of a community and holding on to some traditions. As long as it doesn’t harm others, to each their own, and it’s totally acceptable if that’s what my dad and various relatives were into. Today, however, I’m smarter, I’m an adult, and I know I do not need any religion in my life. My ethnicity is Jewish, but my belief system is happily atheist. That’s my thing, secular humanism represents my values for a fair and just society, and I’m good with that.
Way back in the 2000s, as a young man, I went to Israel on more than one occasion. Went on a school trip, visited family, etc. I never had any problem using an American passport. Maybe it’s because the system wasn’t digitized back then, I don’t know. I certainly had no intention of getting drafted into the military, and have always felt absolutely no allegiance to the Israeli government. Why would I? It’s always been a strange place to me and I was only ever a visitor…
Then, it was sometime in the 2010s, when I was on another family visit and they told me at the airport that I was in trouble. The officials at customs said that I had to go to some office and fill out various bureaucratic paperwork, or else they wouldn’t even allow me to leave.
“You’re not American. You’re Israeli.” I remember feeling rather offended by that.
The very last time I had to take one of these trips, it was after COVID, and it had been too long since I’d seen my family who live there today. I gave in this time, and had to go and get the passport beforehand. Just more bureaucracy to do. I didn’t want it. I didn’t like it. But I simply needed it, and it represented no ideology or big statement from me. It was simply a pragmatic solution to a problem.
But I knew I would never live there, and it turned out I would never use this passport again.
On Anti-Semitism
Anyway, it’s probably necessary in this piece to acknowledge genuine anti-Semitism. I am a progressive, and it goes without saying that I am against racism. It’s a serious problem in the world, as hate crimes for all groups have gotten worse while the digital nature of media today seems to make humanity grow more tribal and more terrible.
And when it comes to criticisms of Zionism, and the endless back and-forth debate (which is, certainly, often in bad faith), there is the issue of whether or not anti-Zionism counts as anti-Semitism. Of course it is definitionally not the same thing. And at the same time, I must concede that there are times when anti-Zionism does overlap with racism. It’s obvious that happens, a lot, especially in certain corners. There are many who get over-the-top when it comes to the subject of Israel, and it doesn’t take long to just glance at the internet and see so much hate disguised as legitimate political debate.
That being said, it’s also a convenient excuse for rightist Zionists and rabid nationalists to dismiss any criticism of Israel as anti-Semitism. This is simultaneously another thing that happens very often happens. It happens constantly.
Where we are now as a society, is that terms like Zionism and anti-Semitism have become so inflamed as that they mean almost nothing now. What a shame how language is degrading.
Even more confusing, there are also many anti-Semites who support Israel as an ethnostate model for what they want for themselves. They are bigots who don’t believe Jews can’t be real Americans, and they are obsessive Zionists. Christian nationalists, or rather, let’s just call a spade a spade and refer to them as white nationalists. They are an enormous political block in America and this describes what they are perfectly. It’s because of religion and apocalyptic prophecies or something like that, really a bizarre world we find ourselves in the 21st century when grown adults believe in such nonsense and then have real political power.
It may seem incoherent and contradictory, but that’s the mess the world finds itself in now. Note that these kinds of people are also why Islamophobia is on the rise at the same time. White supremacy of all stripes is coming out of the gutter, as extremist right-wing ideology destroys public discourse and hate becomes mainstream. It’s a terrible time in world history, full of bigotry and ignorance, no doubt about that.
But without getting into the state of the entire planet, just speaking for me personally, I can really recall only two experiences of dealing with anti-Semitism in my own life. In both cases, it wasn’t from activists who hate Israel. It was from weird conspiracy theory people. That is, it was from the far right.
What has happened to me more frequently, by the way, is when other Jewish people, those who identify as Israeli nationalists, have called me a self-hating Jew. Again and again. From strangers, and even from family members, it’s been the far more common type of bigoted abuse I’ve ever received. It’s ridiculous, it’s a stupid slur, and doesn’t add anything to mutual understanding. It’s just plain hate, and frankly I am very sick of it.
On Israel
In any case, Israel shouldn’t be the center of the universe. It’s a place with serious flaws, and at the same time sure I admit it is obviously not the root cause of all injustice in the world. That’s a very low bar of an Israel defense, but I’ll concede that. It’s just another messed up country, that’s all, and shouldn’t be considered as special as so many people think it is. Whether it’s loved as God’s eternal holy land, or hated as the ruler of the world conspiracy, those takes are both entirely too much sentiment.
Another thing, I never thought being a Jew is somehow the most interesting thing about me. It’s something I’ve long felt uncomfortable about, how other people who like to wear that identity on their sleeve. Why is nationality/religion/culture something to be so proud of? Nobody earned it, it’s just randomly what people were born into. It’s heritage, it’s a part of how one may have grown up, and no one should ever be made to feel ashamed of this either. But isn’t it better to be proud of things I’ve chosen, of things I’ve done, shouldn’t that be what I base my identity on?
Identifying with this country just isn’t my thing. Even, without getting into the controversial politics, the history and the tragedy, I simply never felt like I fit in there. It was never my home.
Perhaps for the older generation of Jewish people, this is a difficult thing to understand. There really was an existential threat not that long ago. Now, to say the least, things are very different. Israel has been an extremely right-wing country for so many years, a powerful and aggressive force in the region. Netanyahu and the Likud party, the far-right coalition and populism and settler extremism, all of these define Israel today and so very deeply not represent me at all.
More broadly-speaking, the Zionist experiment seems to be a failure. The ancestral homeland promise was supposed to be about safety and peace, that was the pitch, and it didn’t work.
And if the only way to stay safe was to occupy millions of people forever, then it wasn’t worth it. If the result of the formation of this country was endless war, then what was ever the point?
Honestly, I think one of the core issues is that it’s a better thing for the human soul to be in the minority. I may be a cis hetero white male, but I do know a bit about not fitting in with the mainstream religion and of being from a slightly different culture than the majority. Historically, Jews in America have thrived in that context and created many positive things. Yes, Europe had a different and darker history, but statistically in America today most Jews have done quite well.
To be the majority in a country, to have power over others and to be in charge, it apparently brings out the worst in humanity. This has happened in the Jewish-majority country as much as it happens in every other country on earth. It’s almost as if Israelis, with the privilege of being the ones in charge this time, now want to do to other minorities what was done to them…
In any case, regardless of the impact of all centuries past, I simply know that theocratic ethnostates are not a good thing. I don’t need to justify anymore than that. I am an American abroad. (And sure, America is also a very flawed and complex place with good and bad elements. All nation-states have blood on their hands, don’t they? That’s the way it is but I still know who I am.) In my entire living memory, I’ve been American. I don’t speak the language, I don’t feel Israeli, and I want to be in control of my identity. That was always reason enough.
On the Gaza War
Why now? Well, these are all issues I’ve thought about for long time. Then October 7 happened, and the Gaza War. And everything, which was always bad, somehow still got so much worse.
It goes without saying that Hamas is terrible in their own right, that is clearly self-evident. I’m not into Islamic fundamentalism either, because duh. Obviously. But ultimately the politics of the Middle East are about power dynamics more than any other factor. It’s not about who’s supposedly most “moral,” it’s about which side has the hi-tech Western modern military and which side is full of people in poverty. Who has the most power is what truly matters in the end.
The way the older generation thinks of Israel as some kind of plucky underdog, how so many Boomers were raised with that postwar context, it just doesn’t fit anymore today. That narrative hasn’t made sense for a very long time, it simply hasn’t been the case for decades and decades and decades. Billions upon billions of dollars in American military support is the complete opposite of underdog. Today, it’s incredibly clear which side has become the oppressor.
This happens again and again in history, and we’d see that if we took the time to study. A people are oppressed, colonized, and suffer horribly. Then they gain power, and use the new position to oppress others. Which in turn causes more suffering, and the cycle continues for generations.
To repeat: October 7 was terrifying, taking hostages is wrong, and there were too many victims. Then, that day was followed up with so many more tens of thousands of casualties, creating far more victims, leading to more abject poverty and no solutions which respect human rights in the future whatsoever. That’s even worse.
In Conclusion
I don’t want to get bogged down by every horrifying news story, but let me get a little specific here. Out of all of them, from the horrible genocidal statements by members of the government, to settlers ransacking food shipments for starving refugees, the ongoing failure to get hostages back in exchange for a ceasefire, the criminal prime minister who has been corrupt for years and years, the authoritarian media clampdown silencing dissenting voices, even this Zeteo documentary footage highlighting how extreme Israeli society has become—not to mention AIPAC’s interference into American politics and how the lobbying group has become a fully right-wing Republican organization, I could just go on and on—it’s the utilizing of AI to maximize the mass killing of human beings that has disturbed me the most.
In case you haven’t read up on that: Source. What an evil, soulless future this is. This is a very bad sign of what is to come for the future of warfare and for the future of humanity, and Israel should be ashamed. I wish I could convince people who support this government to do some serious soul-searching. Probably can’t convince very many people at this point, but I wish.
So, in conclusion, I think Israel is on the path to being just another Middle Eastern dictatorship. Nothing special whatsoever. There’s not much I can do about that awful course that they seem to be choosing. It’s been in the making for a while, with the endless occupation and the far-right government long in control. I can only disassociate, maybe protest a bit, but overall the only thing left is to petition the US government with my vote to stop funding the war machine there.
And also, some might say that terms like genocide and apartheid, however legally they are defined, are too loaded terms. We should or shouldn’t say it, it’s all so inflamed. But in any case, even without those charges which are in fact valid, even still, what was and what is happening there is an absolute affront to my values and it’s easy for me to know I am not on that side.
Yes, I am privileged. I had the ability to do something about how I feel in this situation, and used that privilege to remove myself from it. I don’t want the dual citizenship. I want to control my life. And that’s why I’ve now renounced my Israeli citizenship. I am not, and I cannot be, Israeli.


























