Zhuhai Chinglish!

Happy Chinese New Year!

新年快樂!

I’ve seen a lot of goats lately…

Just got back from Zhuhai yesterday, a tourist beach town not far from here. Bordering the former Portugese colony of Macau, Zhuhai is also a Special Economic Zone but does not equal the hustle and bustle of Shenzhen’s metropolis. We went to a hot springs resort and had a lot of fun.

And, getting out of the big city helps to find a \lot more hilarious mistranslations.

Especially menus. Can’t you just taste that authentic Cantonese cuisine of pig brain and bullfrog?

I remain a vegetarian, more inspired than ever.

Presenting: Zhuhai Chinglish

20150219_164538

Mmm hot dog bowel

20150219_165051

Green hometown is nice

20150219_170517

Bacteria, okay…..

20150219_170811

Germs, appetizing

20150220_132953

Beef balls pee, yeah! Not too mention the rest

Continue reading

Advertisements

Cantonese Californian – last poem 2010

WP_001023

Cantonese Californian
with the pretty hair and pretty eyes and ugly mouth

You always had to spare us
from the bitter truth that mouth would always shout

And when we forgot
you never held it against us
no matter how we deserved, such

Cantonese Californian
or is it Californian Cantonese?
can’t say I was ever too good with adjectives

It’s like a one-way street in in Hong Kong
who knows which way to, in all that dramatic midst of shit?

The California household
and the Cantonese air
mix together with a twist

Sunglasses, and slanted-white-eyes
It’s you we swore we’d never miss

And as the sun sets–
East-to-West
or is it the reverse?

Never was too good at directions
it’s that ancient curse . . .

And I’d never even known the wiser
Cuz I never studied that charter
Too busy getting over my first!

Can’t cure a disease
when you won’t admit if it hurts

And that’s enough
Because we trust
That you couldn’t make it any worse . . .

 

 

3/2/10

 

Dating in China – My Guangzhou Year

Zhujiang_new_townGZ

In early 2011 I broke up with Zoey and I was depressed and I thought I should start Dating in China yet again. It didn’t go well. A full year with one person, despite the trying and failing at improprieties, and I was a tad out of practice.

A very significant chapter of my life had ended, and I knew it would take a lot of work to reach the next chapter of my life. I realized I needed a new start.

What did I really have in Shenzhen? Frankly, a bunch of shallow friendships and little job security. I liked my apartment and my general setup but I wasn’t tied down. If I wasn’t tied down, shouldn’t I take advantage and go somewhere new?

Many expats simply live out of their suitcases, but not me. The heaviest things I own are my books. I sell them, I give them away, but I always get new ones and I’m left with a big stack. That and my clothes and various knickknacks and toys, and it’s not as easy for to move to, say, Shanghai or Seoul or Bangkok as it is for that other kind of expat.

I made the decision to move to Guangzhou — also known as Canton — that third major city of China (a distant third, but third nonetheless). Why did I choose GZ? Several reasons. I liked the city. I planned to do more research of Guangdong Province for my writing projects. I even wanted to study Cantonese. Most of all, I wanted to get a van to pack up all my stuff and move somewhere only a few hours away because it’s easier.

I went there on a research trip and looked around and found a stable thing going, and I committed. Next there was the hassle of putting all my things in boxes, had a going-away bar-hopping party night with friends at the local lesbian bar, and 500 yuan later I moved. My Guangzhou year had begun.

Continue reading