Dating in China – The Very End.


A picture of me I took yesterday

2013, as I keep saying, was my Epic Clusterfuck Year.

Online dating, star-crossed romance, stalking, embarrassments abroad. I had it all.

Meanwhile, my so-called ‘career’ began to slowly take off. I published many an article, worked as a copy-editor, got a certain book deal. I moved, I moved again. All the while searching for that perfect match, and when the search availed I started again, with more baggage piling up and more losses to show for it.

It used to be that I did my thing, make the ol’ money and moderately exercise and read books and study, and I was more or less productive. I was prolific, and nobody in the world knew. Then this year came, it all escalated, I had no more time to myself, and I know my craft suffered for it.

In the end, I had very little to show. Very little to brag of indeed.

And yet, it got even worse. The story was far from over.

And yet, I will not continue this story.


I thank all you readers for being interested in my petty life, and for letting me share and purge. It’s been very therapeutic. I do hope it’s been a good read.

Unfortunately, we are now catching up to the present, and it is still too soon. It is getting a bit too real.

It’s awkward enough when I’ve written these things and someone out in real life tells me they remember that time. I shan’t do that anymore. I’m not out to expose secrets here; I’m obviously not completely into anonymity either, but I do have limits.

So that is that.


Allow me merely be reflective upon a memoir’s epilogue not yet written.

Wait a year or two or ten, and I may get back to you in more detail.

It’s a shame, it would have made for some great writing… Woulda’ been ten blogs worth at least…


Sigh: One. Her. Pejorative Nickname. I had a whole internal dialogue about what pseudonym or pronoun to use and what level of respect is accorded, and I will not share the conversation with you! Sorry.


Nevermind that.

Look. I know I’m not particularly innocent. I know I’m not.

But there was one day I lost the very last shreds of my innocence, and I can never ever get it back.

I heard things I never heard before, I was told things no one else has ever since told me.

That lasts.

I am, however, so over it.


I’m slightly better at relationships since that time. A little bit. A teensy, tiny, very little bit. But slightly better nonetheless.

A better class of person has graced my own personage, and know that it is appreciated.

I learned about all I could learn from the scenario. Okay? Okay?!! Okay.

At this point in my life I’d prefer to play it cool. Grow somewhat, take things seriously, and simultaneously be cool.

To get over myself, as it were.

Enough already with the self-indulgence.


It is 2014. In fact, 2014 is almost over. It is an even-numbered year, and I tend to do better in even-numbered years. It has been a year of much reflection and evolution, it truly has.

I hope I can keep it up.

Soon it will be another odd-numbered year, and it will be hard on me and I’ll need all the help I can get.

There are new challenges to consider, new stages in life and amazing things yet to occur. There will be novelty. There will be grace. There will be magic and fire and art and power.

Time to seize this living thing.


The dealing-with-my-issues stage is over. It is now time to go go go–



Wish me luck.




Thanks again for reading.







18 thoughts on “Dating in China – The Very End.

  1. Pingback: Dating in China – Last of the POFs | Ray H to the C

  2. It is always a pleasure reading your posts … but I wish you lots of luck with all that comes and all you decide to do


  3. Wish you all the best. Lets see, perhaps the coming odd numbered year will very different, your future is not set in stone so make 2015 an epic successful year! (I try that each year but fail somehow though…)


  4. I wish you luck and I wish you love! Your blog has that special something…I always found your articles captivating. I never got bored and I believe with all my heart that you’re talented and this talent needs to be expressed. And, with all the honesty, I will tell you something: you never ever embarrassed yourself…So, I’ll wait for the next chapter 🙂 from you, one of my favorites writers from WP!
    Best wishes,


  5. I enjoyed reading your stories about dating, mainly because love brings with it unforgetable, valuable, experiences, and also because your life is very different from mine.

    I’m with you on writing about other people. It can be…what’s the word, weird, I suppose. In a sense you are judging the people you are writing about. It’s one thing to talk about other people with your friends, but another thing altogether to put it all down in writing and share it with the world, with everyone. When it’s out there, it’s out there. Best of luck with what tomorrow brings, Ray. Tomorrow may always be a different day 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. The very best of life to you, Ray! I’ve enjoyed the read. Not my usual follow, but there was just something about how you write. I wish you the best in life and love!


  7. Thanks for all the support! I don’t know how to reply. I’m speechless. Undeserving and simultaneously very grateful, know that I appreciate it.

    Not all is lost, however, and stay tuned for further writing…


  8. Entire series has been entertaining and true. You did a great job and each piece could work as a separate short story. I’d like you to expand this project into something different and bigger in scale.


  9. Pingback: Dating in China 2012 – 2013 | Ray H to the C

  10. Pingback: Dating in China | Ray H to the C

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